


Forever Through The Looking Glass

by Oaklin



Series: Forever Everything [72]
Category: Chikara (Professional Wrestling), Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: (I don't know what to tag this if you couldn't tell), (author is REALLY bad at writing humor), (really just the worst puns you can imagine), Attempt at Humor, Bad Puns, Kayfabe Compliant, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Pure cringe, Purple Prose, Swearing, Threats of Violence, Wrestling Weirdness, anthropomorphic animals, casual physical intimacy, dad jokes, it's cringe all the way down houston, stealth angst, stealth shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-03 08:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oaklin/pseuds/Oaklin
Summary: Tumbling through the wonders of life, and the trials of their complicated journey together, Team IWS makes it's way towards the future that awaits them.(alternate title; BJ and The Bear's Marvelous Adventures)





	Forever Through The Looking Glass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mithen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mithen/gifts).



> Hello hello!
> 
> So, Mithen has apparently been having a hard time with the current Zowens shenanigans, and I vaguely remember us having a conversation about this Chikara tournament and the whole BJ and The Bear debacle. Mithen mentioned that it would be interesting to see me try and write something involving the two teams, so I figured I'd give it a go. I believe Mithen wanted it to be a match, but I hope this works instead ^.^

“Are we _actually_ doing this?”

“Come on Kevin. Have a heart, will you?”

“This bullshit has nothing to do with the state of my internal organs. Why the fuck am I even here right now?” Kevin gripes, snatching Sami's wrist up and halting his process of getting ready for their upcoming match.

That just so happens to be with fucking Beef. And that- thing.

_-Brian?-_

Shut up.

Sami moves toward Kevin without complaint, and Kevin honestly should have known better. Sami raises his eyes before Kevin has even finished speaking, spearing Kevin with a look that-

_-breathless-_

(shut it)

“I don’t know, why are you here?” Sami demands, the words sliding out of his mouth with a mercenary purpose, the slice of the verbal bitch slap laced with accusations that Kevin has no plea to defend himself from.

“Because **_you_ ** asked.”

(there)

(asshole)

Sami blinks, all at once the fierce, piercing certainty draining out of his face, like Kevin just dropped a bucket of ice water down the back of his shirt.

_-he is-_

(don’t)

**_-resplendent-_ **

(shut up)

(fuck you)

Sami leans back and away from Kevin for a moment (Kevin does **not** clench his fists until he feels the skin of his palms give way under blunt nails)-

**_-wait-_ **

-Sami’s face twisting in confused wonder as he stares, openly and infuriatingly awe-struck, at Kevin. They just stand there, for what feels like an eternity, in the wake of Kevin’s blurted…

_-truth-_

**_(lies)_ **

**_-always-_ **

The tension is broken by the loud clang of the door slamming haphazardly into the wall as Beef's dumb ass strides cheerfully into the room.

Because of course.

“Hey guys! Ready to get smoked by the power in our paws-?”

Kevin grinds his teeth, resisting the urge to turn around and slam a fist into that obnoxious blond bastards face. Sami has no such compulsions, though his intentions are clearly more benign that Kevin’s. Sami brightens, the confused wonder on his face draining away as he turns away from Kevin, and the last few heartbeats of tension dissipate into the ether of unspoken soliloquies.

_-inner poet’s getting a little out of hand, don’t you think?-_

(...no)

“Fuck off Beef. No one asked for your input.”

Beef opens his mouth, an outraged look on his face as he swings around, jabbing a finger in Kevin’s direction as he begins to prattle. Kevin barely registers the words though. Sami’s new reaction to Kevin being a dick to Beef, seems to be positive reinforcement. Which Kevin would not have a problem with, if not for-

(does he _have_ to?)

_-why wouldn't **he?-**_

( ** _he_ ** knows how-)

( _ **he** _ can’t just-)

**_-can-_ **

_-and **will** -_

(...fuck)

_-you going to tell **him** to **stop?-**_

(can’t)

**_-won’t-_ **

Kevin stares down at the warm palm resting against the center of his chest. He can feel the warmth, like a well lit summer day, seeping through his t shirt. Kevin breaths, drawing in the crisp air of life and light, trying not to choke on the wistful splendor of it all, even as the lungfuls burn his chest, filling him simultaneously with illuminant peace and searing resentment.

...can’t decide if this is **better** or not.

(liked it better when **_he_ ** got mad at me for fucking with Beef)

_-no you did fucking not-_

(shit)

“Welcome back, Beef. Jimmy snapped at me when I asked where you and Brian went, but Pondo said that you guys had left. Where did you go?” Sami asks, focusing on Beef while he systematically dismantles Kevin’s ability to think properly.

(fucker)

“I told him that you two had run off like the scared little bitches that you were, but-” Kevin stops abruptly as Sami presses down with the hand still against Kevin’s sternum, his fingers curling against Kevin’s chest as his heart slams rhythmically against his ribcage, as if it is desperately attempting to reach the warmth that is but a hair’s breath away.

_-feels good-_

(being incinerated would _**not** _ feel good)

**_-if it was him-_ **

Shut Up.

_(I swear to god-)_

_-it would feel good-_

**_(fuck you)_ **

Beef, being the oblivious idiot that he is, continues to miss the increasingly melodramatic struggle going on between his companions. He rounds back on Kevin, waggling a finger at him, as if chastising a child.

“Yeah right, you freaking wish. Me and Brian are gonna maul you two, just you wait and see. Neither of you are gonna know what to do when we bring the pain with our unbearable offense-”

That is enough to at least temporarily snap Kevin out of is stupor. Sami puts a hand against his mouth, shooting Kevin an apologetic look even as the little ginger shit giggles against the palm of his hand, his fingers not enough to stifle the braying lilt of his ear-splitting laugh.

Fighting down a headache, no doubt because of his exposure to these fools, Kevin turns a glare on Beef, “Can you fucking not with the goddamn damn bear puns?”

Beef draws himself up, looking indignant, “Hey, you don’t get to talk shit about Brian and me and just expect me to just grin and bear it-”

“For fucks’ sake, ‘Brian’ is currently eating out of the goddamn trash can, maybe worry more about yourselves and you own ability to get anything, much less a win over **_US,_** and worry less about me hurting you pet’s feelings?”

Beef pauses, glances over to the corner of the room, near the entrance that Beef burst in. Kevin had been doing his best to ignore it, but it was sort of hard to ignore a hulking figure, squatting over the trash can by the door, rustling through the contents of the bin, one brown paw clamped across the back of it’s neck, the other rifling through the can, occasionally tossing things over a broad shoulder to the floor.

Beef makes a disgruntled noise, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Kevin defiantly. “Oh stuff it, you blustery buffoon. You have no idea what me and old Brian here are capable of. We are so going to show you, right Bribri?” the idiot by the door does not reply, just continues snuffling through the garbage, wobbling precariously in his crouched position. “Yeah, exactly. You get me, Brian.”

Beef looks triumphantly at Kevin, like he just proved something monumental. “See? You two are so screwed. Me and Brian are an unstoppable force of polarization! You won’t even know what hit you on the nose. The bell is gonna break the soundbearier when we win, it’ll be over so quickly. And don’t think you can honey us up for mercy, either-”

“Oh my good god, enough with the goddamn bear puns! Those didn’t even make sense! Are you just going with _anything_ that is remotely associated with bears now?” Kevin resists the urge to throw Beef through the window, reaching out and clamping a hand around the back of Sami’s neck to ground himself.

“Whatever, my puns are the best. Don’t act like it is more than you can bear-”

“Okay, stop stop stop.” Kevin can’t help grinning triumphantly at Beef, who frowns at him before shooting Sami a betrayed look. “Don’t look at me like that. Even I have my limits, and you’ve been dropping puns non-stop for the last three days. Give it a rest will you?”

Beef pouts, visibly disgruntled. But he nods regardless, making Kevin relax slightly. “Yeah, I guess. I suppose I got it out of my system.”

Sami smiles, looking relieved, squeezes his hand against Kevin’s sternum, the sensation rocking Kevin on his feet. Kevin tightens his grip on Sami’s neck, trying not to shift closer to the gangly ginger moron.

No need to encourage him.

“Really, I appreciate it Beef. I know how hard it is for you to stop making terrible dad jokes-”

“I guess you guys just find my puns too-”

Kevin tenses, reaching forward, thinking to strangle the little shit before he can get the words out, but Beef dances backwards, and Kevin forgets to let go of Sami, so he and Sami just stumble forward awkwardly, still tangled up far too close to each other to be able to move independently.

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ -!”

 ** _“-unbearable!_** Hahaha!” Beef cackles like a lunatic at his own lame joke, bolting over to his companion, who is still rifling through the trash. Beef pulls him up, the two of them bolting out the door once Brian catches on to the impending chase.

Kevin curses, extricating himself away from Sami and stalking after the dumbasses, already planning all the ways in which he is going to put an end to Beef’s mouth once and for all.

“Get back here, you peice of shit! You and Smokey are gonna regret the day you waltzed into this hundred acre woods!”

Sami catches up to him with a loud snort, slamming shoulder first into the exit doors, heading the short way around to try and cut the duo of idiots off. “Really? Smokey Bear and Winnie the Pooh? Is that the best that you could do?” Sami chuckles again, “Ooh, that rhymed-”

“Okay, one, shut up. Two, shut the **fuck** up, and three, this is all your fault anyway. So just help me beat them to death and we will call it even, okay?”

Sami smiles at Kevin, his words all at once a promise and a threat.

“Kevin Steen, you know as well as I do that we will never, _ever_ be even. Not in this lifetime, at least.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is not actually cannon. I'm pretty sure that BJ and The Bear fought Steenerico (then just known as Team IWS) at some point, but I do not remeber when that was. I do not believe that it was during the Chikara tourney, as BJ And The Bear got eliminated in the second round by (I believe) Team Toryumon, which if I'm not mistaken was Milanito Collection at and Skayde (which could be understandably confusing, for anyone who keeps up with current day NJPW. For the record, Milanito Collection at is a different person than Milano Collection A.T.)
> 
> ~I am so _not_ explaining Japanese wrestling right now~
> 
> ~we would be here all week~
> 
> For the record, 'Brian' is one of those weird wrestling things. I've decided to go with the Yoshihiko route (sort of) with the whole thing. If you have never seen Dramatic Dream Team, or you have but you still have no fucking clue what in god's name I am talking about, then let's just simplify things, and say that 'Brian' is herein being played somewhat straight. He exists in that bizarre space in wrestling, where things can be 'real' and Not Real at the same time. So, he is a bear, but on some level the wrestlers are aware that he is a Wrestler, not an animal. If that makes any goddamn sense at all.
> 
> Which it probably does not, but whatever. In the spirit of Chikara, and this ridiculous tournament, I am Comedy Wrestling it up. Old Jimmy Corncobb would be much disappoint ^.^


End file.
